Dark Paradise
by LyllieKamadli
Summary: Sometimes it's life that leads you down a path that causes you pain and suffering. Sometimes it's the choices you've made that put you there. Regardless of how you get there the same question remains. Can you survive?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay so I is idea had flooded my brain and will not leave me alone since listening to Lana Del Rey's song Dark Paradise. (Love it!) Anyhow I need to know what you guys think and if I should even continue, could just be a one shot depending on the response I receive. I know that I should not be starting another fic but I cannot seem to control my muse dang it. Warning this fic does not have a beta so it is in rough shape.

**Dark Paradise - Prolog**

**Spencer P.O.V**

**Saturday - June 23, 2018**

There are moments when she can remember what it was like, brief flashes of his face or a ghost feeling of his touches. Moments most people would hold onto, cherish memories that coined the phrase it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. She however, did not share this sentiment with others. She hated those moments. Resented the memories she had purposely stacked away in a corner of her mind to be forgotten. She found herself wishing every time these moments intruded into the life she had finally built that they had never existed to begin with. Because for her it wasn't better to have loved and lost, love simply was not worth the tormenting emptiness it left inside you when it ended. To open up to someone, leave your heart bare and open in the palm of their hands was the one thing she would never do again. Had there been others after him? There was only one. Had she cared him, maybe, that was debatable. Had she ever let anyone in the way she did him, no. And she never had any intention to either. Toby had made certain of that.

After her breakdown, the crazed state in which the A team had left her in, after losing him so completely, she couldn't leave Rosewood fast enough once she had been handed her diploma. It wasn't until she landed in San Antonio, Texas before she decided to stop running. And if Spencer was being honest, running from Rosewood and the people in it was exactly what she was doing. Not for herself or her own safety, she really didn't much care what had happened to her at that point but for the life she it had dawned on her that she was carrying.

She left without a word to anyone, no one knew of her plans to leave or about her baby. She had taken every precaution; she had even coned her mother in believing that she'd had her jewelry stolen a month before she left. When she had in fact sold all of her gold, silver and diamonds to the sleazy private detective Miles Corwin; for his services in attaining her new driver's license, social security number, passport, diploma, car and five grand in cash. She knew that her jewelry collection was worth at least 4 times what he had given her but the new life in which no A existed was priceless. Spencer was smart, meticulous with every detail; she had even waited to take a pregnancy test until she reached Texas.

She was sure that her friends and family had worried about her when she went missing, and maybe even felt betrayed by her, but her baby was all she had left of him...of the man who was supposed to have been her future. She wouldn't have survived if anything had taken the small piece of him that he had left behind. Even now five years later she had no regrets, she would do it again without hesitation because for Spencer Hastings a.k.a Troian Bellisario, her son Keegan, is the only one that mattered.

**Dark Paradise - Chapter One**

**Spencer P.O.V**

**Sunday - September 1, 2013**

Spencer knew from reading a mountain of books about pregnancy and the first year of your child's life following pregnancy that most babies have blue eyes when they are born. She also knew from those same books that two thirds of the babies blue eyes will change color within the first two months of their lives. Especially if one of the parents had brown eyes, since brown eyes were a dominate trait. But her baby... her sons eyes, they weren't going to change. The piercing bright blue orbs currently staring up at her in wonder were an exact replica of his fathers, and they were NOT going to change.

He honestly was the most handsome baby Spencer had ever laid her sight upon. She thought at first maybe it was just because she was a biased mother who adored her newborn son. But no, all the nurses seemed to fawn over him too going on and on to her about his cute dimpled chin, clear sky blue eyes, or his untamable blondish brown hair. Toby...everything about him screamed Toby to her. Looking down at him was like living in heaven with flashes of hell. She would never know what the reasons where that laid behind Toby's betrayal, she would never know if Toby had ever really loved her, if Toby would have ever loved him. Spencer did her best to keep these thoughts at bay, pushing them aside she decided that this little boy was the part of his father she had loved so deeply, the part of Toby that loved her enough to at least give her something to live for when she had been convinced she'd lost everything.

"901 free at last... You are most defiantly your father son. With a birthday like that I guess me not naming you after him isn't so bad right?" The last thing Spencer would ever be considered was stupid. She knew naming her son after his father would be reckless, putting herself and her son's identity at risk of being uncovered. Sighing Spencer had to admit that she was almost happy now that her son had insisted on being born nearly 4 weeks early. She had been so terrified when she went into early labor that she didn't even realize the significant of the day he was born until 4:56 am, thirty minutes after Spencer's doctor was able to reassure her that aside from being a little light in his weight at 5 pounds 7 ounces, he was a perfectly healthy baby boy.

"Good evening Troian, how are we feeling?" Spencer's eyes rose from her son to smile at the red headed pediatric physician, Marie Stewart M.D. whom she had chosen as her son's doctor enters the room.

"Well he seems to be fairly content. As for me I'm tried, good but tried." Spencer replied as she tilled up baby up just slightly for Dr. Stewart get a look at her son who still had his azure orbs trained on his mother face.

"Last I checked giving birth does that to you." Dr. Stewart remarked with laughter in her voice causing Spencer to break out with another smile.

"Well, I can reaffirm that birth does in fact make you tried, very, very tried; especially when said birth happens at 2:41 in the morning." Spencer confirmed with a small chuckle in her voice.

"If you'd like I could have one of the nurses come down and get this little guy so you can get some sleep. I am sure they would love to fight over who gets to take care of him." The suggestion of her not having him in her arms only had Spencer tightening her hold on him.

"No! I mean...no thank you, I'm fine really." She tried to keep her voice as natural sounding as possible when she spoke. Breathe. She had to remind herself to breathe, remind herself that Dr. Stewart was just concerned for her that she wasn't trying to take her son from her. She was on the verge of a panic attack, something that hadn't happened since before she realized she was pregnant, since she had been in the forest, since she had seen...No, she couldn't go there. She needs to calm down. Breathe.

"Okay. But if you change your mind all you have to do is push your call button okay."

"Okay." Spencer forced her eyes to make contact with Dr. Stewart once again, and give a small grin.

"You're not going to let go of him are you?" The way she said it was more of a statement than a question, and the tenderness in her voice was exactly what Spencer needed to calm her frazzled never.

"No." Was her simple reply this time her face wearing a genuine smile.

"I figured as much most first time moms usually don't. Any how I have some paper work that needs to be filled out so that we can get this handsome guy a name on his birth certificate. You've picked one out right?" Dr. Stewart informed her as she pulled a pen from her pocket and started writing on the paper attached to the clip board she had carried in with her.

"Yeah I... I think I am going to call him Keegan." Spencer had read so many names but the name Keegan had always seem to stick with her, it's meaning was small flame, and that's exactly what her son was for her. He was the small flame who had given her light and warmth when her world had turned unbearably dark and cold.

"That's a good name...he looks like a Keegan."

"He does, doesn't he?"

**Spencer P.O.V**

**Wednesday - September 4, 2013**

It was a good thing that Spencer hadn't packed a big bag for her hospital stay. Even with the help of her co-worker Katie they were barely able to manage getting all the flowers, bags, balloons, car seat and Keegan up stairs to her studio apartment in one trip. Her apartment was an open room that she had sectioned off a corner of by hanging sheer curtains around her Queen size bed, dresser and Keegan's crib to create somewhat of a bedroom, a TV hanging on the wall with a cute bright yellow love seat and a couple of end tables in front of it off to the right when you walked in was her living, to the left was little kitchenette with tiny table big enough to set two at it, and a bathroom just big enough for a toilet, tub and a sink; it wasn't much but it had become her home, or at least the closest thing she had to a home anyhow. Not to mention it was all bills paid, which was BIG plus for someone who was a single mother.

"Thanks so much for all your help Katie." Spencer said as she sat Keegan who was asleep in his car seat down on the couch.

"Argh for the thousandth time T, you're welcome. I can't wait for you to get back to work so I can have this handsome little guy in my room all day." Spencer flinched a little every time she called her that, she hated it but Katie had almost immediately dubbed her with the nick-name and after 4 months she had still been unsuccessful in getting her to stop using it.

"I'm sure you can't. He is going to be beyond spoiled." Spencer predicted laughing lightly as she tucked his blanket a little tighter around him.

"Oh yeah, you can count on that." The wicked smirk Katie was wearing on her face was more than enough assurance that her son would indeed be the best attended to child in all of The Shooting Stars Leaning Center.

"Hey, speaking of work could you do me a favor and make sure to tell my class that I miss them and thank them for all the cards and flowers." Spencer requested as she began to try and find a home for all things she'd brought home with her from the Hospital.

"Will do and before I forget Kasey asked me to give you this." Spencer turned from the task of putting up a few of the bottles up in a space she'd made clear in a cabinet to watch Katie dig an envelope out of her purse.

"What is it?" Spencer questioned her friend as she plucked the paper from her fingers.

"I don't know." She always knew Spencer thought as she looked at her with a raised eyebrow before muttering her thoughts out loud.

"Liar."

"Just because our boss happens to be my sister, does not mean that she informs me of everything she does."

"Oh I won't argue with you there. But you forget that I know how nosy you are."

"Hey, I am not nosy... The political term is an inquiring mind."

"Like I said nosy." Spencer stated again before breaking out in laughter as Katie playfully shoved her aside so that she could bend down and pick up Keegan out of his car seat. Finally digging into the envelope Spencer's face puckered in confusion as she pulled out a check causing her eyes to nearly falling out of their sockets when she read the amount it was for.

"Oh my god...this is...what is she thinking?" Spencer gasped.

"It's the rest of your pay for the time you are on maternity leave." Katie responded to her, never once removing her eyes from Keegan as she lifted his head to her nose smelling his hair like he was some sort of scented candle.

"But Kasey already..." Spencer began to protest as she push the check back in it pouch and held it back out for Katie to take.

"Look T, Kasey's a mom. She knows how hard it is and she wants you to have a full 6 weeks off. So, we figured since you fought us on having no more than 2 paid weeks that we would just wait to tell you after this little cutie here was born. Kasey said you would be less inclined to fight her about having more time off once you'd actually had a chance meet him." Of course that damn smirk of hers was ever present as if she was the cat who'd just eaten the canary. Still Spencer had to admit, it was a well-played move on both their parts. She certainly had no intention of auguring with them about it now that Keegan was here.

"She was right... I... I don't know what to say... Thank you just isn't enough."

"Oh my god, you are so aggravating. You've been like a heaven sent angle ever since the day you walked in our door and filled out that application. Between working overtime whenever we needed you, helping Kasey get the office and front desk organized, and single handedly putting together a teaching schedule for the 4 year old class room; trust me when I say you've earned every penny. So no thanks are needed."

Spencer couldn't help the tears that sprang to her eyes, damn hormones, as she carefully launched herself to hug the young brunette currently holding her son. After everything that had happened back in Rosewood, Spencer had started to wonder if God really did exist, or if maybe he was punishing her. Yet right now in this moment she felt like she had been blessed by him to have come across such amazing people. People like this didn't exist out in the real world or at least that's what she had been brought to believe.

"T... You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine... I'm just really grateful, maybe a bit hormonal and a little tried."

"Well I don't have to be anywhere. Why don't you go take a nap and I will get better acquainted with my new little buddy here?"

"I would love that. Thank so much Katie."

Once Spencer was safety behind her curtains and lying in bed she let her overwhelming emotions consume her. Everything in "Troian Bellisario's life" was next to perfect. She had her own place, a handsome baby boy, a sound stable job with great co-workers whom had become more like her family than her friends. But for Spencer Hastings the only perfect thing in her life was her son. Aside from Keegan she had nothing of real value. She wanted so badly for Aria, Hanna, and Emily to have been the ones welcoming her and her son home, for Melissa and her mother to be over her shoulder fussing with her over who does Keegan's changing, feeding, and baths. She wished HE was here lying here next to her with their son between them bricking over who exactly he'd got the small dimple in his chin from. It hurt, it hurt so much that it was almost like losing him all over again.

**Emily P.O.V**

**Thursday - March 27, 2014**

Veronica approached us with her head hanging low, her already pile skin was flushed and her eyes red rimmed. She'd had Melissa call us all to meet, we knew it had to do with the disappearance of Spencer eleven months ago, we had all hoped it was good news, we had all hoped that the police and investigators the Hastings had hired had found a lead. Yet sitting here in this big room with Spencer's mother looking down on us her arms wrapped tightly around her waist as if they were all that was holding her together, I knew that the news we had hoped to hear was not the news we were going to receive.

"Girls, I just wanted to let you know that they found Spencer's car Tuesday morning... I thought you should be prepared before you read it in the paper tomorrow morning... That you should know..." Veronica started only to breakdown in a series on incomprehensible sobs. Melissa stood, guiding her mother to take a sit in the chair she herself had just abandoned before finishing what Veronica had just failed to covey.

"All of Spencer's belonging where still in the car, her licenses, credit cards, money, everything. They found traces of her blood and signs of struggle. They have decided to move her file from the missing persons unit to homicide." She stated as one of her hands clasped onto her mothers.

"But they don't have a body, Spencer could still be out there and their just going to write her off as dead." Hanna burst out in anger as she looked to me and then to Aria, waiting for us to agree. I wanted to say something, to support my friend in her theory but I couldn't seem to move. My brain was flooded by how much this paralleled Ali's disappearance, all the unanswered questions that this new information brought and after a glance in Aria's direction I found she was just as stunned as I was.

"Detective Gates said that with the amount of blood found coupled with way the car was found that they didn't need a body... that the chances of Spencer being found alive was cut in half after the first 48 hours of her disappears. Now after finding all her belongs added to signs of struggle and DNA evidence her chance of survival is less than 2%." Melissa explained wiping away a tear with the back of her free hand.

"So that's it? We're just giving up on finding her?" Aria asked in a hushed tone.

"I know you girls loved Spencer...but accepting that she is...that Spencer has passed away is what we all need to do here. I don't want to acknowledge it either... but Dr. Sullivan and Detectives Gates have questioned both Mona and Wilden. They have said nothing to lead us to believe that Spencer is alive. In fact Dr. Sullivan said that when they interviewed Wilden again yesterday morning he stated that we will never find her... her body. I sorry girls, but we are going to have to accept that Spencer is gone." Veronica voice was raw, shaky, and certain. There was finality in it that washed over me sending chills along my spine. Spencer was dead to her. She wasn't coming home to us; we would never see her smiling or hear her laugher again.

"Who's going to tell Toby?" The words fell from my mouth as I search both Melissa and Veronica's faces. This was the one question that needed to be asked that I knew we were all pondering.

I had sent him a simple text over an hour ago, thankfully he was following up a tip he'd gotten about a supposed sighting of someone who looked like Spencer that was only 45 minutes outside of town. Now sitting in his loft, surrounded by pictures of their life together, moments of happiness and love displayed in my every line of vision; I'm beginning to question whether or not I not going to have the strength to deliver the facts of what I'd just learned at the Hastings home. There really wasn't much of a discussion as to who would be the one to ripe away the small hope that he was clinging to. I was hands down the closest one to Toby and he was going to need me to help him cope with this information.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." He sighed as he walked in and slumped on the couch next to me.

"It's fine. Really." I replied as I stared at my fingers fumbling with the edge of my cut off shorts. I had no idea how to start this conversation but I had a pretty good idea it was going to end with a lot of yelling and tears.

Toby leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands pushing his hair back. Nothing, lead after lead and he always turns up with nothing. It was as if Spencer had just vanished into thin air. Unlike Ali, who's presents seem to be everywhere after her disappearance and death, it was like Spencer was just some figment of their imaginations, or a dream who was beginning to fade, and her fading was affecting Toby more so than all of us combined. It was like watching Spencer's breakdown all over again, only this time it was in slow motion.

"We went over to the Hastings today, Melissa called all of us and asked that we come. " he was looking at me now; I could feel his eyes as if they were burning through to my soul. He didn't question why he wasn't invited, he knew Veronica and Melissa thought that Spencer would be home safe and sound if Toby had made his reappearance from his "death" sooner, and although Toby never said the words out loud Emily knew he believed they were right. They had come to a silent agreement to keep their distant from one another ever since he had come back with the proof needed to put the known A team members both Mona and Wilden behind bars.

"They found Spencer's car yesterday morning..."

"Where?" He asked standing as he grabbed for his keys ready to bolt.

"All of Spencer's stuff was still in the car, her licenses, credit cards, money...all the things we thought she could be using to help her to survive if she did in fact run away, Toby it was all there." and with those words she was having an out body experience, she could hear the same certainty she'd heard in Veronica voice no more than a couple of hours ago. She could see the betrayal in his eyes, the same look has had given Spencer's own mother for abandoning all hope for her daughter. While she was waiting for Toby she'd been replaying the meeting with the Hasting in her head and now she was uncertain wreathed or not her friend was ever going to come home.

"No. I know where you're going with this Emily and I... No..."

"They found her blood and signs of struggle. Her file is being moved from missing persons to homicide." At this point the words were more for her sake than his. She needed Toby to convince her to believe that they were all wrong, that she was wrong, and that Spencer was coming back.

"That's Bullshit! The only thing that proves is she fought with someone in her car at one point in time. Not that she's dead." In his burst of anger he sent the keys in his hand flying across the room, causing Emily to send a small thanks to god that it was only a set of keys when they slammed into the wall behind her.

"Toby maybe we should..." he was pacing now like an angry caged animal trying to find its way out. Emily needed to get him to take a breather things were spinning out of control much faster than she'd thought they would.

"No! I'm living proof of the mind games they like to play Emily. How many times have we believed someone was dead; Spencer had even seen what was supposed to be my body. Yet, here I am standing right in front of you. It's Mona, Wilden and the other members Red Coat has on her blackmail list messing with our heads, trying to make us believe..."

"Veronica said Sullivan had another interview with Wilden he said we would never find her body... not find her Toby... But her body!"

"Of course that's what he would say if he wanted to make us believe she is dead, that's kind the whole point of the mind game."

"You were gone a month Toby...4weeks. Spencer has been missing 11 months, close to a year now, just like Ali."

"No. She's not like Ali because she's not dead! Em, I can't... I won't give up on her not until they can prove to me that she is actually gone. "

"A whole year Toby, no calls or contact of any kind, she has no identification, no money... With all the posters and press out on her disappearance, we should have had some kind of trail to follow by now. Logically there is no way..."

"STOP! You think that I don't know this... That these things haven't crossed my mind... I'm not stupid Emily but there aren't any facts that disprove the theory of Spencer running like hell to get out of this town, or that maybe they have her locked up somewhere." he was grasping at whatever he could now, she could see that wild fear of the truth beginning to register in his icy blue eyes.

"You're right. You're right, up until today it was most certainly a possibility that Spencer could have just split but they found her car and her belongings Toby. All I am saying now is that the chances of that actually being what happened decreased by like 75%. Couple that to Wilden saying we wouldn't find her body, no contact, no sight or sound from Spencer in a year and there is about a 98% chance now that Spencer is dead."

There were no more words from him and there certainly wasn't anything else I could say. He wasn't going to give up on her and it seemed sometime between leaving the Hasting home and Toby arriving at his loft I had accepted that the only way my friend was coming home was in a body bag.

**Mona P.O.V**

**Thursday - March 27, 2014**

"Funny, I never thought I would see you here." to say the seeing her setting here in the vivid red coat so brazenly after all that had happened with Toby turning on us was a bit of a surprise would be a lie. I knew how untouchable she was and so did she.

"Careful Mona you know better than most that I am the last person you want to piss off." Of course she would throw that in my face; even after taking the fall with Wilden for the evidence that was given to the police by Cavanaugh she knew she could control my every move.

"Clearly. Still... being stuck in an asylum and all... there's not much I can do for you. So the question remains why you have graced me with your presents."

"Oh Mona dear, this visit in not about what you can do for me. But what I am going to do for you." I really must be sick, I mused. If I were smart I would stay where I am at, stick with playing crazy. It is a role that I play fairly well. Entertaining the idea of letting her be my marionette, playing with me like her own personal puppet was not what I should be doing. Still, the thrill of the games, the secrets, being in control over the happiness of the very people who had made my life a living hell was just too much to pass up. Even if I was letting her pull my strings.

"I'm listening."

"You are going to tell Dr. Sullivan when she comes to interview you tomorrow that you witnessed Wilden murder Spencer, Wilden has already planted the seeds of his involvement in the Sullivan's and Detective Gates heads and I happen know a young handsome Doctor who has, after some coaxing, agreed to supply the body." as usual it seemed like she has all her bases covered, A was nothing if not methodical about the webs she weaved for her prey. There was only one question the remained for me.

"What if Miss Hasting decides it time for a family reunion?" with a raised eyebrow I waited, she knew what I was asking and from the evil grin that now consumed her lovely face I was certainly going to get an answer.

"Trust me; coming back to Rosewood is the last thing on Spencer's agenda. But now that I know where she is; I have promised the good doctor that once he's completed his task he will be rewarded with her new location to make sure she stays put. A task that I would say he was quite excited about."

"So this is going to help me how, exactly?"

"Being threatened into silence by an officer of the law isn't taken lightly these days. And if you call a certain lawyer by the last name of Hastings I am sure she will offer you just about anything to get the story what happened and where she can find her daughter's body. Not to mention the retribution of watching Toby suffer with the fact that his involvement ended the life of the one person he was so desperately trying to protect."

"Poor Spencer I am sure it was quite a horrific death."

"Yes, yes it was."


	2. Chapter 2

Dark Paradise - Two

Toby P.O.V

Sunday - May 4, 2014

His chest was hurting; he was psychically in pain as he pulled his truck into the parking lot of the hospital. What he had seen on the morning news had been replying in his head all day, then Em called telling him he had to meet her here at 3 and he knew. _"The body was found 30 miles from where the car belonging to the local teen Spencer Hasting was discovered on March 25th. Spencer Hasting a graduate of Rosewood High School went missing one year ago today. Detective Gates of the Rosewood police department said the body is believed to be that of a young female and suspensions of most people here in town is that it will be confirmed to be the brunette beauty whose family has..." _Toby shook his head trying his best to catch his breathe. He didn't know anything for certain yet. Of course it had crossed his mind that the body may have been Spencer's, but after Emily's call the pain of having to face his worst fear had literally gripped the heart inside his chest and had begun twisting it unrelentingly.

Walking towards the entrance he took notice that Aria, Hanna, and the Hastings cars were all present and a counted for. Em and Aria where standing at the doors of the Lobby waiting for him with eyes red rimmed and puffy; pulling Emily to him in a hug that was more for his comfort than hers had him fighting to hold in the tears that he knew were bound to overtake him if this body was in fact identified as Spencer's.

"Have they..."

"No. They haven't told us anything yet we are waiting on Jason to show up." Spencer's brother Jason had taken Spencer's disappearance just as hard as Toby had. They had worked together on countless occasions following up one lead after another, refusing to believe that Spencer's life had ended. For Jason it was about failing to keep another one of his little sisters safe, for Toby it was simply that he couldn't fathom the thought of living in a world without her.

"Who I think just pulled in...You guys go ahead I'll go get him." Aria offered as she headed off towards the left side of the parking lot.

Emily's hand was wrapped around mine now as she practically pulled me through a maze of halls until we came to a small enclosed waiting area filled with the people who all loved and cared for the one person that was missing. The fact that she was not there among us was the reason we were all being forced to share the same space. Leaning against the wall I watched as Jason passed by with Aria taking a seat next to Emily, choosing like me to stay as far from the Hasting as possible. Then as if this already tense situation couldn't be made worse, into the room walks Detective Gates followed by the damn doctor I could have happily gone the rest of my life without seeing.

"I'm sorry to inform you that Dr. Kingston has been able to positively identified the body that was found this morning as Spencer using dental records and DNA samples that were collected from the clothing that was also found at the crime scene." If Wren was the doctor in charge of identifying the body it could be another lie. This was just another way of trying to make him believe that she was gone. There was still no proof; this meant nothing.

"Dr. Kingston and I should able to answer most of your questions. Before that I was hoping that you could all take a look at this. We are hoping someone can distinguish this garment to be Spencer's as yet another form of identification?" It was my shirt; she had stolen it from me and said she was never giving it back. There was blood staining it now...her blood. I could feel Emily gripping my hand again, feel my heartbeat falter, he could lie about the body being Spencer's but how the hell had they gotten my shirt…the shirt Melissa had said that Spencer was wearing the night she left the house and never returned. Toby could see people crying, Detective Gates was speaking and he could hear nothing it was as if someone had hit a mute button and all he could hear was her voice.

_"Yeah and you're never getting it back."_

"Do you know when?" It was Jason's voice. He was with them now. He believed Spencer was dead. Toby wasn't sure how much of the conversation he had missed but he knew he need to focus so that he could dismantle Wren's story of when and how she had last taken her breathe.

"Her estimated time of death is consecutive to the time she went missing. Of course we can't confirm that 100% but given the evidence along with the information we've collected from her car and the crime scene, added to the statements given by Mrs. Vanderwall and Detective Wilden, we feel certain that Spencer's life was taken the night of May 4th last year."

"How?" My voice sounded foreign even to me, angry, hard, unforgiving, and non-belief; all the emotions swarming inside me conveyed in just that one word as my eye's locked with Wren's.

"There were chips in both her rib cage and vertebra that coincide with multiple stab wounds but ultimately she died from strangulation indicated by a broken larynx." They wanted me to believe she had suffered; this is what Wren was telling me in detail. His eyes had never left mine the whole time he had listed the technicalities of what had supposedly put an end to the life of the women I love.

"As Mrs. Hasting already knows from the statement Mona gave yesterday, Spencer was in fact stabbed by Wilden a total of four times before he strangled her with his belt, which was also found with her body."

"Wait? When did you talk to Mona?" Hanna all but shouted in Veronica's direction, Caleb grabbing her shoulder pulling her back down in her seat beside him.

"Mona brokered a deal with Mom yesterday morning. It's how we were able to find Spencer's whereabouts. She agreed to tell us everything, if we dropped all charges against her." Melissa explained while keeping her head down and her eyes focused on her hands. Most likely because she knew what her mother had done, setting Mona free of all charges after the pain and suffering she contributed to Spencer's life, was wrong.

"Why would you agree to that... after all we have learned about what she did…are you crazy?" Jason was out of his seat now standing and making his way out of the room, clearly whatever Veronica or his father had to say in defense of their actions Jason didn't care to hear.

"Don't you dare judge me; I did what I had to do to bring my daughter home so that she could be laid to rest."

"Now this is not the time for that discussion. If I may, there are still very impermanent details you need to be aware of; Dr. Kingston discovered when running tests on the DNA we collected that HP levels in Spencer's blood at the time of death confirmed that she was in fact 17 weeks pregnant, so we will be asking the Distract Attorney to charge Wilden with two separate counts of murder in the 1st degree." There was a collect gasp by everyone still in the room, with the exception of myself. For my breathing at that moment had stopped all together.

Pregnant... he was trying to pass off that Spencer had been carrying a child... my child. My mind flooded with question I know I should not even be entertaining. Had she known? Was the reason for her hiring the private investigator to find me so that she could tell me, I was going to be a father? My legs grew shaky, fearing I may no longer hold my own weight and bent over slightly putting my hands on my knees trying to reign in my thoughts. 17 weeks. 17 weeks would have been before she had discovered my badge from Radley, most likely the night that we had fought about Jason and Mona in the hot tub. I had reluctantly followed her inside and helped her change out of her swim suite. She had been tense and as soon as I had wrapped my arms around her from behind, kissing her neck lightly she had turned in my arms burying her hands in the hair at the nape of my neck, her lips brushing against the shell of my ear as she whispered that she was sorry.

"_If we actually had a baby what do you think it would look like?"__ he asked as he made his way from her bed to her with a smile on his face. _

"_I'm picturing __an infant with a six pack." She teased lifting her arms around his neck as he pulled her in close to him by her waist._

His mind was everywhere, racing from each of the little moments he'd shared with her before veering off into the memories unknown. He couldn't get the image of her out of his mind, what she would have looked like her belly extended with his child. This information was yet another nightmare he was going to have to suffer every time she crossed his mind. Something else that the A team and his stupid affiliation with them had cost him and this time the price was just too high. The anger boiling in his veins was flooding his senses, he stood walking straight towards the door piercing Wren's eyes with his own, demanding silently for him know to follow.

"I don't know who that body belongs to but I know it's not Spencer." as soon as he heard the door shut behind him the words where out of his month.

"Toby I have no idea what you're talking about." How dare that prick, playing stupid. He was a doctor for Christ's sake he knew exactly what Toby was referring to. Turning on him fueled with a rage he hadn't felt since the night he'd been told by Emily that Spencer was missing, it only took Toby two strides before his face was inches from Wren's.

"I may not have been able to prove that you had connections with Mona and the A team but I know you were the one to get those passes for Radley."

"What would any of that have to do with Spencer's death? Look, I know that you don't like to hear this but you weren't the only one here who cared about Spencer. And yes, I helped Mona and you for that matter. But Spencer getting hurt was a deal breaker for me. Wither you like it or not I loved her; I always will. So, you can damn well grantee that my only intentions here are making sure that she and her child get the justice they deserve." Maybe Wren wasn't stupid, maybe he was just suicidal. He knew I hated that he and Spencer had shared somewhat of a past together. Still, there was something in his words that rang true. Wren, like me, did the one thing we'd had explicit instructions not to do. We'd fallen in love with her.

"So you're telling me this is real. This isn't just another game you're helping them to play." Numb. I was instantly numb; this wasn't supposed to be happening. The body was not supposed to be Spencer's; she was supposed to be alive out there, in hiding the same way I had been. "Was she really pregnant or is that just another twisted sick way for you and your friends to try and hurt me?" Wishing, praying for them to be true. Anything was better than the knowledge that he had not only failed Spencer but his child as well.

"I realize that I'm not the most trust worthy person, but this is Spencer and she was with child. I can show you the blood test if you like. Or even have another doctor run them again for you. Fact of the matter is you will still get the same answers that you got today. I didn't want this to be true anymore that you did. But now that it's over, now that I know what happened I'm leaving Rosewood altogether. I can't continue to live in a place where I see the ghost of her everywhere." He paused a moment while I took in a shaky breath running a hand through my hair. I not sure if he was to letting me soak in the truth of his words or if he was coming to terms with them himself.

"I'm sorry Toby, knowing that she was pregnant with your child….I can't image what it must feel like." He was right. He couldn't image what it felt like. I was the only one to ever love Spencer that way. I was the only one to know the way her body would respond to certain touches with soft moans of pleasure, or how it felt to have her wrapped around you after she'd come completely undone. Knowing that our own child was created out of something so loving and amazing between the two us, torn something apart inside of me that I hadn't even known existed until this moment. The HOPE for a future, to have her back in my arms, sending a life together, creating a family, the one I'd thought I never wanted before all this shit started 4 years ago, now it was gone.

"No you can't."

Spencer P.O.V.

Friday – August 1, 2014

Thank god today was Friday and she would have a couple of days off from this madness. This week had hit a new level of insanity. Vince had decided that the Lego's where much better when glued together, Madison refused to take a nap every day, Beck had become obsessed with unbraiding Callie's hair, and Spencer was ready for a much needed break. She needed the weekend to deal with her own personal drama, with the fact that in exactly one month from today her sweet little boy was going to be a year old.

11 months old, she was having the hardest time with the fact the Keegan turned 11 months old today. In just 31 days she will be celebrating his first birthday, and it was all moving too fast. At this rate he would be leaving her for college before she knew it. Then again when she thought about it, no amount of time on earth would ever be enough for her to have with him. He was such an amazing son, so much like Toby, in more than just his looks. He was quiet and content most of the time never complaining about anything, his smile and laughter was contagious. Okay so, maybe he was a little spoiled and Spencer didn't give him much time to fuss or cry since she was always at his side. Still, there was a silent strength about her son that Spencer completely attributed to his father.

"Troian, Kasey wants you to meet her in the infant room; I'll stay here with your class." Nancy stated with a sad smile on her face.

"Is everything okay?" Dumb question since I could clearly see by the look on her face that something was wrong.

"Don't panic but Keegan's sick."

That was all I needed to hear before I was bolting as calmly as I could to my son. _Don't freak out and scare the other kids Spence_, I repeated to myself walking as fast as my legs could carry me. You would think that after working in a daycare for more than a year now, knowing that things like this happen, that all kids get sick at one point or another, I wouldn't react this way. Still, the saying "It's different when it's your kid." certainly rang true.

"What's wrong?" I all but demanded as I come in the room making a beeline towards Katie who was holding my precious baby boy.

"He's running a 103.2 fever. Katie noticed he was taking a longer nap than usual and when she went to check on him he was burning up." Kasey informed me as I lifted Keegan into my arms his small body instantly flooding mine with heat as he rested his head on my chest not making a sound or even cracking open an eye, worrying me even more.

"I gave him some Tylenol but if you can't get him into see his doctor today and his fever don't go down I would take him to the Emergency Room." Katie said while rubbing his back from beside me, the same worry present in her eyes. I knew Kasey and Katie loved me and Keegan like we were actually apart of their family, they would never steer me wrong in how to take care of him.

"Was he acting sick or sluggish before he went down for his nap?" I questioned before running my finger thought his hair and kissing his feverish forehead.

"No. He seemed to be fine. I'm sure it's just that virus that's been going around but with a fever that high it's best to get him checked out, last thing you need is for him to get dehydrated." She replied still rubbing slow circles on Keegan's back.

"Kasey is it okay if…"

"You don't even have to ask sweetie. Go get your things, we already have Keegan's bag packed. I will take him with me up front and meet you up there." Kasey already had his bag on her shoulder and was making her way back over to where Katie and I were standing.

"Thanks." I told Kasey before I shifted Keegan into her arms while whispering to him. "It's alright honey Mommy will be right back to get you okay. Then we will go see Dr. Stewart and she'll make you feel all better."

"Call me after you see the doctor and let me know how he is okay T?"

"I will."

Spencer was on the phone with the doctor's office as soon as she had Keegan's car seat locked firmly into its spot in the middle of the back seat. Of all the times for Dr. Stewart to be on vacation, with a sigh Spencer had to stop her and take a deep breath. Really it wasn't that bad, at least they were able to make room for him to see the new on call doctor filling in for her but still Spencer couldn't help but feeling a bit upset about not being able to see Dr. Stewart. Spencer only has a few comfort zones when it came to letting people handle her son and Dr. Stewart was one of them.

The doctor's office was packed, it took stand in line for ten minutes just to sign in and finding a seat was next to impossible. To make matter worse Keegan was still burning up and the Tylenol should have kicked in by now. Picking him up from his car seat Spencer cradled him against her chest doing her best to keep her mind from thinking the worst.

"Keegan Bellisario."

Putting Keegan back in his seat she put his bag over her shoulder picked him up and made her way to the nurse that had called her sons name. Following her into room 4 Spencer relaxed a little when Vivian the nurse who always assisted Dr. Stewart with Keegan's vaccination shots came in behind her, smiling as she greeted them with a cheery hello.

"What's wrong with our handsome young Prince?" she asked as she started glanced up at Spencer from a tablet that looked somewhat like an iPad.

"He's running a 103.2 fever and has been very lethargic." Vivian made a few more notes on her tablet before taking Keegan from Spencer to the counter so that she could get his height and weight. Once that was done she turned to place him on the examination table to take his temperature as well as blood pressure. "Poor little guy, he is burning up. Have you given him anything for it?"

"Yes, he had a dose of Tylenol about an hour and half ago." Spencer informed the nurse while fidgeting with her hands, impatient to have Keegan back in her arms. Watching closely as Vivian put a small device on his finger to get his oxygen level before returning him to her rightful arms.

"Alright mom I will get these stats to the doctor and he will be in shortly."

"Thank you." Spencer politely replied as she cuddled her son back into her embrace. She hated this, she would give anything to make him better, to see him smiling and giggling at her with his bright blue eyes looking up at her like she was the only thing in the world he needed to make him happy.

"Miss Bellisario?" his voice seemed familiar but then again hearing an English accent always brought thoughts of Wren to her mind. But nothing could have prepared Spencer for when she turned around to see him standing in front of her in the flesh. Seeing a ghost of her past, here in her present had her taking a step back as if she had been physically hit.

"Spencer?" She was sure that the look of his face most likely was a mirror of her own. Shock, dis-belief, and fear immediately spread thought Spencer as her eyes locked with Wren's. He had not changed much since the last time she'd saw him, the day he'd told her he'd been the one to ID Toby's body in the morgue after the police had found him in the shallow grave.

"Wren… how…why?" Spencer brain couldn't seem to process what was taking place; Wren was here, in Texas.

"I was transferred here a few of months ago….is…he's your son? Keegan, right?" It seemed her brain wasn't the only one not functioning properly in this room.

Spencer nodded, honestly what else could she do, he had already seen her. At this point her cover had been blow there was no reason to lie about her son.

"How long has he been showing these symptoms?" Wren completely ignored the thousands of questions Spencer was sure he wanted to ask her. He must have sensed how unsettled by this whole situation that she was and chose to focus on her son and the reason she was here at the doctor's office to begin with.

"Since around one this afternoon."

"May I?" he asked his hands hovering over my son silently asking me to hand Keegan over to him. "Spencer, please I just need to check him over and then I will hand him right back, I promise."

Reluctantly Spencer relents, carefully placing Keegan in Wren's hands. Wren would be a good dad, like most doctors he has very gentle hands, and I ease a little when I see the way he handled Keegan with such care. Placing him back on the examination table to my right he lifts his shirt and begins by listening to his heart, then moving on to check his ears and eyes. Finally after taking a long Q-tip looking thing and swabbing the back of Keegan's throat with it, Wren was done and placed my baby back in my arms before calling in the Vivian and asks her to take the utensil down to the lab to be tested. Once she's out the door another silence falls over us as he turns to back to me.

"It looks like your little guy has an ear infection but I tested him for strep, as well. We had a lot of cases come in the past couple of days and I wanted to check him just to be on the safe side." The silence between us was awkward to say the least, then again it wasn't every day you run into to someone who had vanished out of your life close to a year and half ago without any words of goodbye.

"Okay."

"Guess I don't need to ask who his father is?" And there it was the question that would be the segue to the conversation about the past that I had literally run from.

"No, there is certainly no doubt about who is father is." _Or was_ my mind corrected me.

"You know we had all thought it was Toby's death that drove you away from Rosewood and in all the scenario's we came up with as to why you left the thought that you were pregnant with his child was never one of them." Melissa and Hanna, most likely Hanna is who I am sure he's referring to when he say's we.

"Finding out about Keegan after Toby…there are a lot of reasons I left. The bottom line is I'm not sorry; I did what I had to for me and my son. So if you are thinking of contacting any one I promise you my son and I will be gone before you can hit the call button on your…" it was there again that fear that I had felt the moment I had laid eyes on him after he'd walked into the room. Only this time it was coupled with a protective instinct that had me willing to fight to keep us safe.

"Spencer, stop. I'm not going to say anything, to anyone. Seeing you… knowing that you're alive, that you're okay. It's more than I could have ever asked for. Maybe, after this little guy gets better we can meet for coffee… catch up?"

"Wren, I don't think..."

Thankfully Vivian taps on the door before she enters the room with Keegan's results and a smile on her face. She walks over handing them to Wren as she turns to Spencer and reports the good news that he tested negative for strep. Spencer immediately started gathering their things, already flipping through different places for her and Keegan to start over again. She had a little money saved but it was no were near the 5 grand she'd had when she first came to Texas, and she had no clue what she was going to do about their names, Wren had all of their information. There was no way she could keep using them if she didn't want to be found.

"Here I want you to take this." Spencer looked down to see two small pieces of paper, one was a prescription for some antibiotics which was for Keegan's ear infection and the other was a business card. "It's my personal number. If you or Keegan ever need anything I'd like you to call me."

"I…"

"Just let me finish. I'm not sure what happened to make you feel you needed to completely start over, but it must have been bloody important to make you of all people run like you did. Believe me when I say that I won't tell anyone about you or Keegan and I'm not going push myself into your new life here, I promise… I just… I just want to be sure that you're okay, that your safe, and if being here in Texas as this Troian Bellisario what makes you feel safe then I will do whatever I have to make sure things stay that way for you." Maybe…maybe they didn't have to leave after all. There was something in his tone of voice, the way he held her gaze, which made Spencer believe him. There was a tingle in her bones that told her he wasn't lying, that there was no way he would ever tell anyone back home about her life here. He was on her side, then again, when Spencer thought about it Wren had always gone out of his way for her. Maybe, it was time to thank him for that. So as he pulled the door open ready to walk out of the room, Spencer called out to him.

"Wren... Thank you."

"Good-bye, Troian."


End file.
